Heartbreak

Today we lit a candle for little baby Vaughan Leonard...

...too beautiful for this world...

...soaring high, with the Angels...

The newest twinkle in the sky.

Fly free & Sparkle bright Sweetheart.

XXX

2 Months ~ Letter to August

Auggy Bear,

Month 2 has gone so fast. We had our check up and your first injections, you were brave and only cried for a few seconds. You met your Oma & Opa for the first time along with Tante Miranda. We had our first long car journey down to the south coast sunshine, where we had a BBQ to celebrate Nana's Birthday, with your gorgeous bumped up Auntie. 

It amazes me on a daily basis that you are growing so fast, and not just physically. You stick your tongue out at me when I do, you are batting away toys, and talking so much more. Yours smiles are just divine. We spend most mornings talking to one another...big smiles and kicking legs are just perfect even at 5am!

You have grown out of your mosses basket.

You are wearing 3-6 month clothes albeit a tiny bit big.

Your hair has turned blonde.

You had a boys night in with Daddy.

You have been playing in your big boy cot.

There has been the odd sleepless night, and days of random crying. The tears make me sad; however I understand you are just trying to tell me something and I just have to learn what that is.

The more I get to know you the more I am sad that some people are missing it. Sometimes I feel them around us...you often look into space and smile a lot...staring at nothing, however I believe you see what I only feel. We are lucky to have them visit us August. 

Others choose not to be apart our world.... their loss. Missing out on your pure beauty, happiness and joy only makes me realise how foolish one persons decision can be. 

Your happiness is not dependent on another person August...never let someone else rule your world.

"You are the captain of your own ship; don't let anyone else take the wheel."

 Michael Josephson

Until then Captain, I will guide you through the still & rocky waters, holding your hand all the way.

I love you 

Mummy

xxx

11/11/11

This is a photo of your Great Grandpa and Me. At a guess I would say it was around 1985.

He was a big man, who smoked Benson & Hedges Cigarettes, had a dry sense of humor, and false teeth.

He was a very imposing man...Me and Auntie Charlotte used to run around the house and he always said 

"I'm watching you two".... we used to be very careful! 

Only really when he died and I grew up a bit did I start to understand what an amazing man he was.

He flew in WWII, he rarely talked about it. He was Brave, strong and funny. Even though his name was Douglas, everyone called him 'Big Dave'.

His Flight hat, and some of his photos are in Tangmere Aviation Museum. 

I am proud of him.

When you are older Me & Auntie Elle will amuse you with his stories.

I hated what he saw in the war...my hope is that you never see the horror of War... He would have wanted that too.

Remembering 

Douglas Cameron Davies

27th April 1918 

28th July 1990

...and there is your baby!

As i explained to the Sonographer what happened on our weekend, I was at my lowest, convinced that i had lost our beautiful Pip.....then as the cold gel hit my tummy, and she moved the transducer over my belly...she turned the screen, and uttered those words which swelled my heart....

"and there is your baby"

S/he is in a great position, 10 weeks 6 days as of yesterday. 4 cms long! Waving away, swimming in his/her amniotic fluid like a tiny whale, looking completely content and happy.

To say we are thrilled is an understatement. I can only hope this is the last scare we have with this little Pip...s/he is keeping us on our toes already!

One happy Mum

One happy Dad

One happy Bambino

Happy days

xxx

A Waiting Game

This week has not started well...This lady is so terrified of the outcome of the weekends events.

This weekend I had a heavy bleed, I fear the worst, but I'm trying so hard to find the positive in this situation.

However I'm preparing for the worst, preparing my mind for what might lie ahead.

We are praying for a miracle, a tiny glimmer of hope is all we need.

I feel so attached to this little Pip, I cannot imagine losing s/he so early on.

Tomorrow we have an early scan (10 weeks) and we will find out.

Until then dear friends.